With the head in the stars

A project about astrology and beyond

Back in 2022 I found myself pondering what my first project would be outside of my masters program. I was at the British library with a colleague and trying to dig deeper into what might be an interesting topic to talk about when a blast from the past knocked me.

Back in my undergraduate days, I was a loner suffering of anxiety and deep unsatisfaction with my subject of choice. During those years I was an avid lurker in the blogs of Tumblr, reading Homestuck and reblogging particular interests and jokes. On those doomscrolling days, I stumbled upon apparently innocent Astrology posts that described, broadly, what my true personality was. I thought of it to be fascinating and due to some coincidences, I thought it had some strong foundation. My tendency to stress, my crying over little things and my hypersensitivity had to be because a I was a Cancer, because Cancers are sensitive and soft and not suited for the hard blows of life. It could not be any other way. And I believed it… too hard. I would spend hours searching for more signs, for more soothing posts, for validation on my personality and my situation. The deeper I went, the more I believed I was a doormat, because Cancers are not prone to action. I was adhering to the labels described by random people on the internet.

And I believed that was the source why I was feeling miserable, and I had no boyfriend, and my friends considered me a pain, and that I was unlovable. It took a friend of mine to have a serious conversation about this self-obsession – because anything related to astrology and personality is self-obsession – and insist that random posts or people on the internet had no power over who I was. I snapped out of it and abandoned those spaces online. My life evolved, I got to try new hobbies and activities, met new people, made friends, I graduated uni, studied theatre and moved countries.

After years of therapy, I was able to untangle the preconceptions I had about myself and trying to let go of the necessity to self-describe that much. But it still required over a decade of work. But, in a way, I could never completely shake off that obsession with astrology. I still judged and compared myself to others, often lowering my person in comparison with others´ability to coexist in society. I attributed that to “my water sign condition”.

It occurred to me during this time to find out the reasons for this obsession about astrology. Turns out this is not a new phenomenon. After some light research, I found that trying times bring a rise in beliefs rooted in esoterica – it happened with the world wars, it happened back in the 80s and it’s happening right now. General social and political unrest and economic instability bring uncertainty, and people tend to latch themselves onto soothing mechanisms that might seemingly explain their feeling of unease. As mentioned in the podcast Conspiratuality “People get the feelings right but the facts wrong”. And so, systems like astrology, seem to offer and explanation from a personal perspective. They appear reasonable because it has been around for millennia and follows the natural precession of seasons. That root in the natural world gives it an interesting authority. But it doesn’t go beyond reality, in fact, it enacts the opposite: it considers our own biases and covers it with a mystical aura.

Upon reaching this conclusion, I felt rage and compassion for who I was. This system was intended to work that way to provide me the just reassurance to keep me hooked in hopes of purchasing further advice. At the end of the day, astrology is not an act of charity. Reputable astrologers can earn more decent livings through these strategies.

Circling around to that day at the British Library, I decided to utilise all of this acquired knowledge about astrology and package it into a stage show that it’s still in development. Something crazy that pretends to criticise it through heightening it’s ridiculous constrictions.

This is what the 13^th House is all about. Exploration on the impacts when we latch too hard onto one belief and how ridiculous it can be when trying to justify it for the sake of fitting into a small box.

I hope this project becomes more than just an artistic enterprise but also an archive to understand our own behaviour, biases and each other.